King Agamemnon said to Achilles "What is it that bothers you Achilles?" in a tone not so pleasant to the ears of the warrior. "What more is there to gain from this war? Are you not pleased already with the riches that you have?" asked Achilles. The King was now angered as he was questioned. "Matters that do not concern you shall not be of worry to you" replied Agamemnon. "The fight is not worth the gain, I shall not lose men to this atrocity" said Achilles in anger "Have you not enough?" The king now furious being questioned "Do not forget what has been given to you"
Achilles' blood boiled with hate at this point "You would be so ignorant as to take the earnings of your greatest warrior?" Agamemnon replied "Ha! My greatest warrior would know thou place and not question thy King. I shall take what I have given to thou and none will be returned. I have other warriors fit to lead my army into battle"
Achilles could not bear to listen to this king of his any longer. He said "Do as you will but thou will not like the outcome." As he walked away and went back to his home. He began to gather his belongings, told his wife to do the same as they were leaving that night. His wife was one of many gifts from the king as a show of appreciation for all Achilles had done. He feared the king would take her away from him.
As they began their journey, the moon lit the path for them. After hours of travel a horn could be heard from a distance. Not one, not three, but five blows from this horn. It signified a betrayal of the king. This infuriated Achilles for he had not betrayed anyone. He knew what was coming and hid his wife in the nearest city where they would begin their new life. "I must go away and resolve what has become" Achilles told his wife. She pleaded for him not to leave but knew he would anyway.
Achilles camped out in the middle of the path from one city to another, the King finally came and saw him sitting in the path. The king had brought a handful of men, a handful being 100 warriors. Achilles stood "Brothers, do not give into this mans greed, as he is not seen as a pure being in the eyes of the Gods" before he could finish the king interrupted "Kill him!" but not one man flinched. They respected Achilles for leading them into so many battles before and saving their lives time and time again. "You see king, no matter how powerful you see yourself to be, I am the leader. The true leader of the Greeks. Defy me and I will take what is rightfully mine." as these words were spoken the King trembled, The warriors turned on the king and tied him in binds. Achilles had one of the warriors fetch his wife and bring her. They went back home and Achilles gained his rightful place on the throne after all the people were pleased to see Achilles as the new king. There he ruled and was not a king of greed but brought peace and prosperity to all of his people.
Achilles with Wife and Son after Claiming the Throne
Photo provided by Wikimedia Commons
Authors Note: This Story was created as a different perspective of what it would be like if Achilles left the King and defied him because Achilles wanted to be remembered in history and to get his way he had to do an unimaginable act against the king. The original story was from Homer's Iliad and ideas were brainstormed from the original story of The Quarrel. The original had the king taking back what he had given Achilles and then angering him more so but still proving his point.
Bibliography: "The Quarrel" by A.J. Church from Homer's Iliad Websource
Hey Justin. Achilles' story is one of my favorites. If you're interested in this further, I highly recommend the book "The Song of Achilles." It's so good. I really liked that you didn't make him just a simple, rule-following solider, but gave him more depth and personality than in the original story. One of the biggest things that I wanted to comment on is description: try to give physical descriptions of the characters to help the readers connect with them, and try to describe the setting more so that we are aware of the character's surroundings. Otherwise, good job!
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ReplyDeleteI loved your rendition of Achilles. It was always my favorite part of Homer's Illiad. I really enjoyed that you gave Achilles an opinion and made him not back down from anyone. Achilles was so powerful so I feel like this really could of been part of the story! The way you tell the story and the way the characters speak are really good and do a good job of keeping that greek mythology sound. I cant wait to read more of your stories!
Hello Justin! I really enjoyed this story. Your writing style was very admirable. You correctly used 'thou' in several places, a feat that not many people can do. I liked how the main character had a strong moral compass. I am a little confused what part of the story you changed. I have not read the story of Achilles, so maybe in the future go into more detail which parts you changed in your authors notes.
ReplyDeleteHi Justin, I really enjoyed reading your story! I like how you were able to maintain the speech that the story was set in because I normally always use modern day speech when telling stories because it’s just easier for me. It has been a really long time since I have read the original story so I was hoping to read the summary of it in your author’s note so maybe you could add a summary of the original story in your author’s note.
ReplyDeleteJustin, Great job with your story this week! I'm a really big fan of the story of achilles so it was so fun to get to read your take on it! I do think it would be helpful for you to summarize the story in your authors note for the people who haven't read it, just a thought! But overall i really enjoyed your take!
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