Hi everyone,
I hope you all enjoy my Portfolio, and I look forward to hearing from you about how I can improve my writing and stories. Thanks so much!!!
Hi Justin, just a quick note to say that you don't actually need the Comment Wall until Week 4... but putting it up now is fine! In Week 4, you'll decide on a Portfolio or a Storybook as your project. (For Week 2, you'll start exploring the Storybook options.)
Hi Justin! I read both of your stories and I really liked them. In the first one, A Guardian and His Protector, I particularly like that you placed the Golem story during WWII. That would have been a fitting time for such protection to be needed. I read the Jewish Fairy Tales section and I considered writing a Golem story, but I couldn't quite figure out how to condense it in a way I liked. The story in my head was too big to really pick out the details. One recommendation that I would make is to maybe give a better idea of where the Rabbi went when he disappeared. Did he meld himself somehow with the Golem, or maybe a sacrifice was required to bring it to life? Your second story, Reaping Feared Demons had a lot of descriptive details that I enjoyed, such as the way you described the demon's appearance. I would have like a little background on the reaper, though. Not just that he'd been battling evil for a long time, but a little bit about why. Not necessarily a full back story, but maybe a reference to something or someone that he lost and was trying to avenge, or some sort of motivation behind his actions. Anyway, I really enjoyed both stories, and I'm looking forward to reading more!
I liked the layout of your website. The color choices and the navigation seem to fit the feel of your story well. I found both of your stories interesting and enjoyed them both. Your first story “A Guardian and His Protector” had me searching for the meaning behind the title the whole story. I thought that it was eye-catching that you decided for this story to take place during the Nazi up-raising. How did the Rabbi know that Yaniv could handle the task he left for him? Overall the story was very well written. Your second story “Reaping Feared Demons” was such a creative concept. The story was gruesome to picture and had me cringing at the imagery. The one downfall of this story was that you glossed through the end of the story. Overall I enjoyed both of your stories and enjoyed reading them. You did a wonderful job.
Hi Justin! I just took a look at your website for the first time this semester and I really enjoyed it. Your title for the collection was attention grabbing and I was intrigued to see what I was going to find. Also, I think you did a really great job of aligning your layout and design aspects of the site with what you were writing about so that they were very complimentary. That added a lot to the meaning of your piece. For a suggestion on how to improve your pieces, I would simply suggest adding in some background information on your characters. That way, readers can understand what they are going through and how they might have come to make certain decisions that they do throughout the other pieces. Otherwise, you did a great job and I can't wait to come back to your storybook collection and see what you do with it as we wrap up the semester and these projects in the coming weeks. Great job!
Hi Justin! The dark colors and eerie feeling your website gives off fits perfectly with both of your stories. Your first story, "Reaping Feared Demons", was a very interesting story. It was like something straight out of a movie that I'd go see in the theater. The path you took with the original story was well planned. I agree that a demon made that story a lot better than just a plain soul seeking to be free. The only thing I would recommend is giving the reaper himself some more insight. I would like to know why he's fighting evil and where he came from. Your second story was also interesting. It almost reminded me of "Big Hero 6". The golem reminded me of Baymax because he represented a protective individual that can be programmed to whoever. It was a well written story and the fact that you chose to set it during World War II was a good choice. It was dark times back then.
Hello Justin! I love the title of your portfolio! It is very mysterious. Why is it called that? Just on a side note, it is hard to go from story to story. If there was a way that you could make it possible to go from one story to the next without having to go back to the title page it would be easier for the readers to read through all of your stories. I like your take on the first story. I have read the original version that you based it off of, and this is a very good retelling. It seems otherworldly. It is a little confusing with you switching calling your main character Alex and the Reaper. It makes it seem like they are two different characters at times. It might not hurt to choose one throughout the story. Your second story was very well written. You set it in a believable era. Unfortunately my blogger account was not able to give me access to read your final story. I am unsure if it is an error with my account or with the link. I think that the tone that you have set with your stories is carried out well throughout the portfolio. Well done.
Hey, Justin! I really like the look of your portfolio. The dark colors and graphics really connect with the content of the stories. The first story, "Reaping Feared Demons," was very imaginative. I've written two stories (one is unpublished because it was over the word count) based on "The Indian Who Wrestled With A Ghost." I liked the direction you took with your story - demon and all. I have also written a story based on "The Rabbi's Bogey-Man." I really like being able to see different interpretations of stories I've also done. I think my only critique is about form. I like the idea of including a note from the grandfather but I think making it a different font or putting it in italics rather than quotation marks would help distinguish the note from spoken dialogue. I was reading fast the first time I read it and missed the "-Love, Grandfather" line. Other than that, well done!
Hi there Justin! It's super nice to meet ya! Okay, I am digging the deep, dark, and twisty themes that you have going on. Your title alone, The Path Hidden in Plain Sight, not only is a play on words, but is mysterious and adventurous and it made me curios! I really like how you put a brief description of the different stories on the introduction page, however, I feel like you could elaborate on it way more. I do not mean get more into the story, but kind of make an authors note, where your thought process and how it lead you to each on of the stories. It would help us readers pick your brain some more! Although I mentioned that I liked your theme and color usage at the beginning (it does fit your theme), I definitely think you could do way more! By this I mean maybe adding some photos to each story that better represents the plot, rather than the same background for all of them. Great job so far! Happy Writing!
Hey Justin. Really enjoyed the dark themes in your stories. The titles were amazing and really foreshadowed the story. The introduction gave really good descriptions about each of the stories. The coloring theme of the pages tied in really well to the stories making them even better to read. I think if you added photo's, it could draw the reader in even more.
Justin, this is such a minor thing, but the summaries for your stories on your home page are in a different order than they are at the top. I like that, in your first story, you tied your version to real events in our real world. I’m always scared to set a specific time period in my stories, but I think you did a great job with it. I wondered, though, where the grandfather went. Did he have to sacrifice himself to make the golem come to life? In the second story, you named your protagonist Alex. I have nothing against the name Alex, but I feel like it doesn’t quite fit your character. Alex feels like such a chill name, but your reaper seems mysterious and bada**. I think just calling him Reaper would be more fitting. Just a thought! In the third story, you refer to Xavier as a man and later a boy. This made his age unclear. I enjoyed all of your stories! You did a really nice job and I look forward to seeing your finished portfolio.
Hi Justin, I really like how you included a short summary of each story on your home page! This was helpful in preparing me for each story. I may be OCD, but your summaries are not in the same order as your stories appear at the top of your page, so that could be a small change to make your page extra fresh! A Guardian and His Protector, was a fantastic story. I could sense the fear in the Rabbi and his grandson. I wish that the Rabbi would have returned, I was sad to see him taken. Overall, you did great job transforming this Jewish Fairy Tale. Your next story was very different from your first one! I liked how you started out explaining that it took place in a world different from our own! This sets up your readers mind to be prepared for anything! Well done! Your last story was super engaging right from the start. This one was my favorite one. I like that we did not know what creature the beast was, for it just made the story more intriguing and we only had information based on what you gave us to create an image in our mind. Your last story reminded me of Harry Potter a little bit, which I also enjoyed! Great job!
Hey Justin, I really enjoyed this unique piece. I think that you did a great job incorporating a serious topic and making it magical. From the beginning you set a very serious and intriguing tone, which is important in a piece this long. I think that if you could have used a little bit more pictures and illustrations you could have made the reader even more intrigued to the piece. I also was a little confused on how to get to all your different stories on your page so maybe work on making the page a little more user friendly. Overall you did a great job and had a really strong story. I think you should continue writing even after this class finishes. You did a great job and really have a solid final project for this class. Good luck on finals and finishing up the class! Have a good Christmas!
Hi Justin, just a quick note to say that you don't actually need the Comment Wall until Week 4... but putting it up now is fine! In Week 4, you'll decide on a Portfolio or a Storybook as your project. (For Week 2, you'll start exploring the Storybook options.)
ReplyDeleteHi Justin!
ReplyDeleteI read both of your stories and I really liked them. In the first one, A Guardian and His Protector, I particularly like that you placed the Golem story during WWII. That would have been a fitting time for such protection to be needed. I read the Jewish Fairy Tales section and I considered writing a Golem story, but I couldn't quite figure out how to condense it in a way I liked. The story in my head was too big to really pick out the details. One recommendation that I would make is to maybe give a better idea of where the Rabbi went when he disappeared. Did he meld himself somehow with the Golem, or maybe a sacrifice was required to bring it to life?
Your second story, Reaping Feared Demons had a lot of descriptive details that I enjoyed, such as the way you described the demon's appearance. I would have like a little background on the reaper, though. Not just that he'd been battling evil for a long time, but a little bit about why. Not necessarily a full back story, but maybe a reference to something or someone that he lost and was trying to avenge, or some sort of motivation behind his actions. Anyway, I really enjoyed both stories, and I'm looking forward to reading more!
Hi Justin!
ReplyDeleteI liked the layout of your website. The color choices and the navigation seem to fit the feel of your story well. I found both of your stories interesting and enjoyed them both. Your first story
“A Guardian and His Protector” had me searching for the meaning behind the title the whole story. I thought that it was eye-catching that you decided for this story to take place during the Nazi up-raising. How did the Rabbi know that Yaniv could handle the task he left for him? Overall the story was very well written. Your second story “Reaping Feared Demons” was such a creative concept. The story was gruesome to picture and had me cringing at the imagery. The one downfall of this story was that you glossed through the end of the story. Overall I enjoyed both of your stories and enjoyed reading them. You did a wonderful job.
Hi Justin! I just took a look at your website for the first time this semester and I really enjoyed it. Your title for the collection was attention grabbing and I was intrigued to see what I was going to find. Also, I think you did a really great job of aligning your layout and design aspects of the site with what you were writing about so that they were very complimentary. That added a lot to the meaning of your piece. For a suggestion on how to improve your pieces, I would simply suggest adding in some background information on your characters. That way, readers can understand what they are going through and how they might have come to make certain decisions that they do throughout the other pieces. Otherwise, you did a great job and I can't wait to come back to your storybook collection and see what you do with it as we wrap up the semester and these projects in the coming weeks. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Justin!
ReplyDeleteThe dark colors and eerie feeling your website gives off fits perfectly with both of your stories. Your first story, "Reaping Feared Demons", was a very interesting story. It was like something straight out of a movie that I'd go see in the theater. The path you took with the original story was well planned. I agree that a demon made that story a lot better than just a plain soul seeking to be free. The only thing I would recommend is giving the reaper himself some more insight. I would like to know why he's fighting evil and where he came from. Your second story was also interesting. It almost reminded me of "Big Hero 6". The golem reminded me of Baymax because he represented a protective individual that can be programmed to whoever. It was a well written story and the fact that you chose to set it during World War II was a good choice. It was dark times back then.
Hello Justin!
ReplyDeleteI love the title of your portfolio! It is very mysterious. Why is it called that? Just on a side note, it is hard to go from story to story. If there was a way that you could make it possible to go from one story to the next without having to go back to the title page it would be easier for the readers to read through all of your stories.
I like your take on the first story. I have read the original version that you based it off of, and this is a very good retelling. It seems otherworldly. It is a little confusing with you switching calling your main character Alex and the Reaper. It makes it seem like they are two different characters at times. It might not hurt to choose one throughout the story.
Your second story was very well written. You set it in a believable era.
Unfortunately my blogger account was not able to give me access to read your final story. I am unsure if it is an error with my account or with the link.
I think that the tone that you have set with your stories is carried out well throughout the portfolio. Well done.
Hey, Justin! I really like the look of your portfolio. The dark colors and graphics really connect with the content of the stories. The first story, "Reaping Feared Demons," was very imaginative. I've written two stories (one is unpublished because it was over the word count) based on "The Indian Who Wrestled With A Ghost." I liked the direction you took with your story - demon and all. I have also written a story based on "The Rabbi's Bogey-Man." I really like being able to see different interpretations of stories I've also done. I think my only critique is about form. I like the idea of including a note from the grandfather but I think making it a different font or putting it in italics rather than quotation marks would help distinguish the note from spoken dialogue. I was reading fast the first time I read it and missed the "-Love, Grandfather" line. Other than that, well done!
ReplyDeleteHi there Justin! It's super nice to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I am digging the deep, dark, and twisty themes that you have going on. Your title alone, The Path Hidden in Plain Sight, not only is a play on words, but is mysterious and adventurous and it made me curios! I really like how you put a brief description of the different stories on the introduction page, however, I feel like you could elaborate on it way more. I do not mean get more into the story, but kind of make an authors note, where your thought process and how it lead you to each on of the stories. It would help us readers pick your brain some more!
Although I mentioned that I liked your theme and color usage at the beginning (it does fit your theme), I definitely think you could do way more! By this I mean maybe adding some photos to each story that better represents the plot, rather than the same background for all of them.
Great job so far! Happy Writing!
Hey Justin.
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed the dark themes in your stories. The titles were amazing and really foreshadowed the story. The introduction gave really good descriptions about each of the stories. The coloring theme of the pages tied in really well to the stories making them even better to read. I think if you added photo's, it could draw the reader in even more.
Justin, this is such a minor thing, but the summaries for your stories on your home page are in a different order than they are at the top. I like that, in your first story, you tied your version to real events in our real world. I’m always scared to set a specific time period in my stories, but I think you did a great job with it. I wondered, though, where the grandfather went. Did he have to sacrifice himself to make the golem come to life? In the second story, you named your protagonist Alex. I have nothing against the name Alex, but I feel like it doesn’t quite fit your character. Alex feels like such a chill name, but your reaper seems mysterious and bada**. I think just calling him Reaper would be more fitting. Just a thought! In the third story, you refer to Xavier as a man and later a boy. This made his age unclear. I enjoyed all of your stories! You did a really nice job and I look forward to seeing your finished portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHi Justin,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you included a short summary of each story on your home page! This was helpful in preparing me for each story. I may be OCD, but your summaries are not in the same order as your stories appear at the top of your page, so that could be a small change to make your page extra fresh!
A Guardian and His Protector, was a fantastic story. I could sense the fear in the Rabbi and his grandson. I wish that the Rabbi would have returned, I was sad to see him taken. Overall, you did great job transforming this Jewish Fairy Tale.
Your next story was very different from your first one! I liked how you started out explaining that it took place in a world different from our own! This sets up your readers mind to be prepared for anything! Well done!
Your last story was super engaging right from the start. This one was my favorite one. I like that we did not know what creature the beast was, for it just made the story more intriguing and we only had information based on what you gave us to create an image in our mind. Your last story reminded me of Harry Potter a little bit, which I also enjoyed! Great job!
Hey Justin,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this unique piece. I think that you did a great job incorporating a serious topic and making it magical. From the beginning you set a very serious and intriguing tone, which is important in a piece this long. I think that if you could have used a little bit more pictures and illustrations you could have made the reader even more intrigued to the piece. I also was a little confused on how to get to all your different stories on your page so maybe work on making the page a little more user friendly. Overall you did a great job and had a really strong story. I think you should continue writing even after this class finishes. You did a great job and really have a solid final project for this class. Good luck on finals and finishing up the class! Have a good Christmas!